okay. i've just logged on to my xanga account after more than a year and i can honestly say that i cannot recognize the person that posted those stupid posts a year ago. what was i thinking?

i'm not sure. i guess i was just very confused about who i was and tried to pass myself off as someone else. i never really meant any of what i wrote, but felt compelled to write it in order to justify for myself that i have some structure.  unfortunately, i that plan backfired BADLY.

funny how one year can change your life right? i have talked to God and he has told me that to be honest with yourself is the best course of action. i'm not gonna take those posts down because i think that they stand as monuments to change. i only pray that i will keep changing toward a better human being.